Feeling Stressed at Work?

There are several signs and symptoms that may indicate that you are stressed at work. Here are some common signs to look out for:

Are you experiencing physical symptoms like headaches, fatigue, muscle tension, digestive problems, or changes in sleep patterns?

Do you feel irritable, anxious, overwhelmed, or frustrated, or do you feel a sense of loss of control or hopelessness?

Do you have difficulty concentrating, making decisions, or remembering things, or experience negative thoughts or worry excessively?

Have there been changes in your behavior, such as avoiding tasks, being less productive, or having difficulty getting along with co-workers?

If this rings true to you, have you considered the possibility that you may have an aggressive manager?

Aggressive and controlling management in the workplace

If your manager:

frequently criticizes you or makes negative comments about your work, even when it is unwarranted or unjustified.

singles you out for special treatment, either positive or negative, that is not applied to other employees.

regularly belittles you or makes fun of you in front of others.

gives you tasks that are unreasonable or impossible to complete in the allotted time.

denies you access to necessary resources or information, making it difficult for you to do your job.

interferes with your work or undermines your authority with clients, customers, or other employees.

threatens you with negative consequences if you do not comply with their demands.

engages in physical or verbal aggression, including shouting, swearing, or making threatening gestures.

.....then you probably an aggressive manager!

Picture of a stressed woman at work sitting at her desk

Dealing with aggressive behavior from others can be very challenging, and it is normal to feel upset or stressed in these situations.

Why is it so difficult to recognise that you have an aggressive manager?

There can be several reasons why it can be challenging to recognize that you have an aggressive manager:

Normalization:
If you have been exposed to aggressive behavior over a prolonged period, you may begin to think that it's normal, and it's how people treat each other. This normalization can make it difficult to recognise the aggression.

Fear of reprisal:
Aggressive behavior often involves a power dynamic, where the person who is being aggressive has some form of power or influence over you. You may be afraid of what will happen if you speak up or confront them, which can make it difficult to recognize and acknowledge the aggressive behavior

Self-doubt:
If the person who is attempting to control you is constantly belittling you or making you doubt yourself, you may begin to internalize their criticism and believe that you deserve to be treated poorly. This self-doubt can make it difficult to recognize the aggressive behaviour.

Why are people so aggressive and controlling?

some

People are aggressive and controlling for a variety of reasons, and it can be difficult to pinpoint an exact cause. Some common reasons include:

Desire for power: Some people are aggressive towards others because they feel a need to exert power and control over them. They may feel inadequate or powerless in other areas of their life, and aggression can be a way to compensate for those feelings.

Insecurity: Some people are aggressive towards as a way to make themselves feel better about their own insecurities or shortcomings. They may feel threatened by others who are different or who they perceive as a threat to their own status or position.

Lack of empathy: Some people may not understand or care about the impact their actions have on others. They may lack the ability to put themselves in other people's shoes or to recognize the hurt they are causing.

Socialization: Some people may have learned aggressive and controlling behaviors from their family, peers, or culture. They may see aggressive and controllling behaviour as a normal or acceptable way to interact with others.

Lack of consequences: If aggressive and controlling behavior is not consistently addressed or punished, people may feel emboldened to continue engaging in it.

What can I do to help myself if I think that I have an aggressive and controlling manager?

If you do nothing else, you should do this:

Keep a record of incidents of aggressive behavior. Write down the date, time, location, and details of each incident.

This can be helpful and provide extremely strong and convincing evidence if you later decide to report the behavior to someone in authority.

It will also help you to symbolise your experience and realise that someone is attempting to use aggressive and controlling behaviour towards you.

It will help you to understand that it is not your fault but a problem with the behaviour of the person who is using aggressive and controlling behaviour.